Three of Cups: The Wandering Heart

Infidelity is a broken promise — whether that promise took the form of marriage vows, a quiet agreement between you and your partner, or just something you both sort of felt without saying it out loud. Whether this violation of trust seems to have come out of the blue or you somehow knew it was coming, infidelity turns everything in your relationship upside down.

And infidelity brings with it so many questions. Should you tough it out and try to rebuild what’s been broken? Can you even trust them again after something like this? Or is it just time to throw in the towel and start fresh somewhere else? You are standing at a crossroads, and each path forward threatens a million difficult emotions.

Infidelity is common. Between 20 and 25 percent of married men cheat and between 10 and 15 percent of married women cheat. Infidelity occurs in 30 to 40 percent of committed relationships outside of marriage.

But the pain of infidelity feels anything but ordinary. Behind those statistics are real people with real emotions, grappling with the fallout of infidelity. Trust has been shattered. Hearts have been broken. And tough decisions will have to be made.

Infidelity: The Tower and the Fool

Tarot can bring a unique perspective on the impact of infidelity on relationships and the personal growth that can come out of it.

The Tower talks about sudden upheaval and revelation. The discovery of infidelity can shake your relationship to its foundations. Whatever is not rock solid collapses and is stripped away. Getting past infidelity requires building trust in the face of betrayal. Ironically, it can be a true test of your commitment to each other.

The Fool represents the beginning of a journey: if your relationship has been affected by infidelity, you must each embark on a new chapter in your lives — either alone or within your existing relationship. In the face of the Tower, the Fool offers advice that is difficult to follow. This card encourages you to approach the situation with openness and curiosity, being ready to explore new possibilities and opportunities for growth. Of course, those opportunities are there, they are just difficult to see.

Infidelity presents a choice between a devastating end and an opportunity for profound transformation and renewal. Both partners must confront uncomfortable truths, reassess their priorities and make difficult decisions.

Pain and Promise: The Three of Swords and the Ten of Cups

The Three of Swords is like a punch to the stomach. You see that heart, pierced not once but three times. It’s like the pain is right there, laid bare for the world to see. The Three of Swords represents the intense pain and emotional devastation that comes with betrayal.This card encourages you to confront and process your feelings of grief and loss.

Despite the pain, there’s something strangely empowering about this card. It gives you permission to feel, to really feel everything that’s bubbling up inside of you. It’s not easy, I know. It’s messy and it’s uncomfortable, but it’s also necessary. The healing cannot begin until your pain is acknowledged and accepted.

I offer this next card with caution, but after accepting what has happened and the emotional pain you’re feeling, it is time to look at the Ten of Cups.

The Ten of Cups offers a contrasting image that may be difficult to see at the moment. This card talks about emotional fulfilment and harmony in relationships. It depicts a joyful family scene, with ten cups arranged in the shape of a rainbow overhead.

I do not want to suggest that your relationship is perfect outside of this betrayal. No relationship is perfect and your relationship right now certainly has its challenges. But this card can help you look at your relationship honestly. Does this card resonate at all? Chances are you love your partner or you wouldn’t have read this far. But is this out of habit or mutual respect?

Is the foundation of your relationship still there, buried beneath the rubble of betrayal? This card may remind you of what you are willing to fight for.

Or has the collapse of the Tower revealed an empty field? This card might remind you of something that was missing in your relationship long before your partner betrayed you.

Reality and Support: Judgement and the Queen of Swords

The Judgement card is a wake-up call, a reminder that you have the power to rise above this situation and come out stronger on the other side.

This card tells you to take a good, hard look at the reality of what’s been going on. Before the infidelity, were you sweeping things under the carpet or pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t? If so, that time has passed. Now it’s time to face the truth head-on and get real about where your relationship stands.

The Judgement card often symbolizes forgiveness and redemption, both for yourself and for others. Forgiveness does not mean condoning or excusing the act of infidelity; it does signify a willingness to release feelings of resentment, anger, and bitterness and to move forward with grace and integrity.

So should you stay or is it time to move on? While tarot does provide insight, no card will tell you what you should do. You do not need to make this decision alone — but ultimately, the decision is yours to make.

You may need support navigating the decisions before you – whether that be a tarot reader or a marriage counsellor. Whomever you choose, it is important that this person encourages you to confront the truth with integrity and clarity, cutting through illusions and facing reality head-on. Just like the Queen of Swords.

The Queen of Swords is not one to beat around the bush or sugarcoat things — no, she’s all about cutting through the crap and getting straight to the heart of the matter, even when the truth hurts. She’s not afraid to ask the tough questions or call out any BS that’s standing in your way.

But notice that while the Queen of Swords is holding a sword in one hand, her other hand is open and extended. She’s not just about laying down the law and dishing out tough love. She has a heart beneath that steely exterior. She knows that confronting the truth isn’t easy, and she’s there to offer a guiding hand and a shoulder to lean on as you navigate the rocky terrain of infidelity.

Choices: The Ace or the Eight of Cups

These next two cards show the validity in the choice you are about to make — no matter what you might decide to do.

First, we have the Ace of Cups. This card reminds us of the potential for new beginnings and emotional renewal. It invites you to approach the process of healing with an open heart and a willingness to forgive. True healing cannot begin until forgiveness is extended—both to others and to oneself.

Here’s the thing about healing—it’s not just about patching up the wounds and pretending like nothing ever happened. No, true healing goes much deeper than that. It’s about digging down into the messy stuff, facing it head-on, and finding a way to move forward with an open heart.

This card implies that it isn’t time to give up on this connection just yet, but its wisdom still applies, whether you decide to stay or you decide to go.

Now the Eight of Cups indicates a need to release attachments that no longer serve your highest good. It encourages individuals to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, bravely stepping away from relationships or situations that no longer align with their values and aspirations.

This card is like a neon sign pointing you toward the exit, telling you it’s time to pack your bags and hit the road. But here’s the twist—it’s not about running away from your problems. No, it’s about having the courage to walk away from anything that’s holding you back from living your best life.

Walking away from a relationship, even after an infidelity, is rarely easy. But here’s the thing: the Eight of Cups isn’t just about leaving the past behind—it’s about embracing the future with open arms. It’s about embarking on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, and yeah, it might be scary as hell, but it’s also incredibly empowering.

So which card resonates more right now? The Ace or the Eight of Cups?